Squawk Radio

Friday, June 03, 2005

Elizabeth on the !@#$%ing Joys of !@#$%ing Summer

Summertime n. When the livin' is easy. (George Gershwin)

Summer n. Full of lazy, hazy, crazy days. (Charles Tobias)

To Gershwin and Tobias, I say: You are so full of crap. (I'm struggling to be polite here.) So far, my summer has consisted of piles of dirty laundry, endless hours of yard work, massive prep for major home improvement, the unexpected arrival of relatives, a profound lack of time for work, and exchanges with my family that go like this:

Monday:
DH: Honey, we're going to the zoo today. Wanna come with?
Me: Um, I have a book due in August, remember?
DH: Oh, right. Forgot.

Tuesday:
DH: Honey, we're going to Renaissance Fun Park to ride the go-carts. Wanna come with?
Me: Sweetie, I have a book due in August, remember?
DH: Oh, right. Forgot.

Wednesday:
DH: Honey, we're going to Riverfront Park and then for ice cream. Wanna come with?
Me: David. I have a book due in August, remember?
DH: Oh, right. Forgot.

Thursday:
DH: Honey, my sister and her entire family are here, so we're going to go spend the day with them doing all kinds of fun stuff. Wanna come with?
Me: !@#$% you and your family and the horse they rode in on.
DH: Oh, right. Book due in August. Forgot.

Friday:
DH: Honey? Are you still speaking to me?
Me:

So that's what it's been like around here this week. Now if you'll excuse me, I promised a friend I'd help her with her !@#$%ing yard sale today.

And no, I'm not speaking to her, either.
Elizabeth Bevarly, 10:23 AM
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