Squawk Radio

10. Stan the bartender at the escalator bar is the best !@#$%ing bartender on the planet.

9. Kitty Kuttlestone is even more abrasive in real life than she is on the blog--until you give her a whiskey sour and an Indianhead nickel and send her to the slots.

8. Surprisingly, it's NOT a good idea to start drinking four hours before the Rita ceremony.

7. Stan the bartender at the escalator bar is the greatest !@#$%ing bartender on the planet.

6. Pear martinis suck. (Oh, yes, they do, too.)

5. There's this cool thing where, when you order a drink, the bartender says, "Hey, I can make that a double for a dollar more," wherein you have no choice but to say, "Well then, Stan, supersize me."

4. Stan the bartender at the escalator bar is the most stupendous !@#$%ing bartender on the planet.

3. Life is fabulous when you're up two dollars and seventy-five cents at the nickel slots, but then--BOOM--with one pull of the arm, you're right back on skid row where you started.

2. It's best to avoid men who start conversations, "You know, I've been watching you from the nickel slots all night..."

1. Stan the bartender at the escalator bar is the most phenomenal !@#$%ing bartender on the planet.