Squawk Radio

I caught up with the talented Christina Dodd in that new hinterland she’s haunting. I think it’s called Washington State. It makes Brockway’s Minnesota look toasty. She insisted we freeze our asses off sitting on her deck outside. Luckily, she made martinis. As well as writing extraordinary novels, she makes good martinis, too. Here’s portions of the taped interview:


Christina: Here, Kitty, let’s go out on my deck. Put on this coat. And this hat. Here’s the gloves. Let’s just use your cigar to light the fire in the fire pit. Now sit down, put your feet up and wrap this throw around your legs. Look at the view! Breathe the fresh air. That’s right, breathe. No, it’s impossible to get too much oxygen. Isn’t that refreshing? Look at the view. Isn’t that beautiful?

Why are you squirming like that, Kitty? Why are you acting so prickly?

Oh, wait a minute. Lisa bought you that Brazilian bikini wax, didn’t she? No wonder you’re acting prickly! Well, none of that here! This is Washington state! We’re all about good health, nature in the wild and Birkenstock shoes. Yes, Kitty, you can have another drink. Gin, dry, up. I know. You’re right, the martinis do stay icy out here!

KITTY: Why did you write another governess book? What’s MY FAIR TEMPTRESS about?

Christina: People have been asking for another book in the Governess Brides series, and asking and asking, so I called my dear friend the brilliant Connie Brockway and said, “I need a brilliant idea.” Because Brilliant Connie (did I mention she’s brilliant?) is a veritable font of brilliant ideas. So we brainstormed the plot of a guy who’s masquerading as a fop to hide the fact he’s stalking these two guys who helped kill his brother. His father gets exasperated with his behavior and hires a governess to teach him What a Woman Wants.

KITTY: Brockway’s about as brilliant as three day old fish—but whatever. So are you an accomplished flirt who left lots of, er, unhappy dates at the front door? Or is this wistful thinking?

Christina: I have been told by Brilliant Connie that I have no flirting skills at all. She says she has never seen me flirt with anybody. I was pretty insulted, but the Romantic Times review for MY FAIR TEMPTRESS says, “Dodd is clever, witty and sexy, and her fans know it.” I suppose some people would say this refers to the book, but who am I going to believe? A respected industry magazine or my idea person?
Hm, never mind.

KITTY: I have also heard something about your fashion foibles so... Pop quiz! Tulle or organdy for an April wedding? WRONG! The answer is SLOE GIN FIZZ. Okay, what's the worst fashion faux pas you ever committed?

Christina: Besides walking through the mall with the toilet paper on my shoe?

KITTY: Your webpage is covered with all these fabu quotes and reviews on your books. Sweet. But have you ever had a bad review?

Christina: Whoo-boy, yes, I’ve had some stinkers. My favorite funny one was the one on Amazon about A WELL FAVORED GENTLEMAN (the hero was half-selkie, a magical creature from Celtic legend who is a seal in the water and a man on the land) — “This is one of the worst books I have ever read. I think relations between species are disgusting, and this book of selkie love is no exception.” And there’s one for MY FAIR TEMPTRESS — “The best parts of the book, although infrequent, were the love scenes. Dodd has an amazing talent for writing steamy and original sex.” I think she meant to be mean, but personally I’d rip my credit card getting it out of my wallet to buy a book with that review.

KITTY: What was the best thing someone has said about your work? And stop rifling through those blank sheets of paper on your lap like you're looking for the quote. I know you have it memorized. Geez.

Christina: When I’d published about twenty books, my mother re-read all of them in order and said, “You’ve always been a good writer, but your writing has gotten better and better over the years.” Only my mom would say something so important to me — and only my mom would read all my books in order. J By the way, Kitty, how is your mom? When she celebrated her birthday, I saw the flare of the cake candles on the horizon.

KITTY: Hold on a second, I feel a little woozy. Glucose-intolerance, you know. Mom’s fine, thanks for asking. She just organized her biker club’s annual trek to Sturgis. Speaking of moving around, you lived in Texas for years. What made you move to Washington?

Christina: I love Birkenstocks?
Okay, not.
My husband and I are both from the west. I’m originally from California — yes, Kitty, that’s where Haight-Ashbury is — and lived in Idaho and Oregon. Scott’s from Idaho. We lived in Texas for years and loved it — yes, Kitty, it is warm there, but this brisk air is bringing roses to your cheeks. Either that, or it’s the gin — but we’re sort of like salmon. We had to swim upstream to our spawning area. This way we’re close to our families, but not too close, and it’s absolutely gorgeous here. Look along the horizon. Those are the Canadian mountains. Closer you can see the lake and the valley and the Pacific and the islands. I know it’s soppy, but the scenery here feeds my soul.

KITTY: Man, you gotta stop offering up targets this big! A woman can only stand so much! Hold on. Hold on. Okay. I think I’m ready now. Just another couple swigs. Okay. What’s the orange thingy you’re sitting in front of in your web site photo? Are you in jail?

Christina: Yes. My photographer’s doing time, but he charges really good rates.

KITTY: Do you REALLY have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the handsome prince?

Christina: Not unless you want warts on your lips.
How many frogs have you kissed, Kitty?

KITTY: Frogs. Not so many. Toads? Hundreds.

Christina: Since you were kind enough to trek all the way up here to do my interview, like Lisa, I want to do something special for you. Something that’ll make you remember Washington State. So we’re going up into the mountains where we’ll get naked and have a good, hot sauna. After we sweat out all the toxins, we’re going race outside to plunge into a snow bank and — Kitty? Kitty?

Man, look at that old lady run.

But she’s right. Here on the deck, the martinis do stay cold.