Squawk Radio

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Eloisa waves from a pile of wrapping paper...

I'm buried in paper -- and it feels literal! Somebody help me! Just to lay my anxieties at the feet of the Squawker community:

1) I have a stack of student papers as high as my head to grade and return. Christina suggested I give them all A's, wish them Happy Holidays, and count it a day. But I have this perverse sense that they're supposed to learn from my comments. It may be perverse, but it's a persistent idea.

2) I have about a million presents to wrap and send out. I just hope that presents that hit the post office tomorrow will actually get to places like Minnesota and Texas by the 25th.

3) Meanwhile, I'm having present anxiety. Did I get too many? Will my children end up little materialistic monsters with dollar signs in their eyes? But how can I return the t-shirt with cartoon bulls on the front that supposedly change color with body heat? Or the miniature family of glass mice with real curly tails for my daughter? My daughter only asked for three things from Santa: a full set of the Narnia books, some fairy dust, and a real live fairy. So far, I'm having trouble with the last two, so how can I give up the full set of books?

4) I can't go into detail on this one because it's too embarrassing, but take it from me, this house ain't ready for Christmas. Probably a trip from the Health Department would be a good idea. They could just put a big cheery red sticker over the door and that way I could stop worrying about Chrismas dinner and what to cook after my only glass baking dish exploded at Thanksgiving (corn soufflé--who knew that was dangerous?).

5) And finally, there's this manuscript...precisely FOUR months overdue at this point. Four. Four. It's a number that rolls in front of my eyes in the middle of the night.

Honestly, there's something cathartic about telling the world... so IS ANYONE IN AS MUCH TROUBLE AS I AM???


Eloisa James, 4:19 PM