Squawk Radio

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Kitty Asks the Pointed Questions...

HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO PAY PEOPLE MAGAZINE TO GET INCLUDED ON THEIR BEST DRESSED LIST EVEN THOUGH YOU DO NOT BELONG THERE?

and

WHO DID VIRGINIA MADSEN PISS OFF?

Like you guys, I snored through most of the Golden Globes last night ("I wish I could quit you!") in order to ogle the fashionista. So this morning I'm going through the various reviews of the Best and Worst Dressed Stars and I find People Magazine's contributions. Some they got right, some they got real real wrong. So wrong. Evidence?




Here is Charlze Theron. Yeah yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, she's talented. Yeah, yeah she's got a great figure. So what? We're not talking about those things here. We are talking about THE DRESS. Can you guess Best or Worst? I think she looks like she made her dress out of party favors left over from a Mortician's Ball. People says she was one of the Best Dressed there.


Price? I'm guessing Randy the People Fashion Reviewer got promised a role as a gay iron ore miner in Charlze next social docudrama.







Next!

Here's adorable Reese Witherspoon. Yes, she is adorable. Yes, she did deserve the win for Walk the Line. Who cares?! It's the DRESS, I'm talking about, people! And People think this thing is just the Best?

In spite of the fact that everyone has got to suspect that little Reese raided the Walk the Line wardrobe department for this terrifying homage to June Cleaver-as-Nefertiti? What's with the breast-plate lame atop the "let's get frisky in the kitchen while the casserole bakes" skirt?

Price: Maybe a casserole made of gold for the Reviewer who included her in the best list?





KEEP 'EM COMING.

People didn't get everything wrong. I mean, even they didn't have the brass to tag Pamela Anderson's outfit anything but Worse. But then I don't see My Gal Pam putting out (cash) to make some list. Because clearly the woman DOES NOT CARE.

There's no other explanation for why she'd wear a baby sling to an awards ceremony. Unless she had a baby in it and judging by sight alone, she just may have.

Okay. She was Worse and she got called on it. You go, girl!







And finally, I am sure there is some juicy, salacious explanation for why Virginia Madsen (lovely, talent, gorgeous...snore) was sent to the back of the line for her dress! Take a look!
Pretty color, nice silhouette. Yeah, it might not have deserved a place at the head of the line but it doesn't deserve a place on the worst list, either. Especially if the worse the reviewer can say is THE NECKLINE IS TOO LOW! H'allo! You know something ain't copostetic because, well, duh, this is Hollywood.
How about it? Got any best/worst candidates from the Golden Globes? Agree with me. Disagree? (fool) Wanta fight? I may be lean but I'm mean.
I'll see if I can fix it so you can add pictures in the comments but I'm not promising anything because I'm no techie.
Kitty
Kitty Kuttlestone, 11:20 AM
38 comments