Squawk Radio
Monday, April 03, 2006
THE APRIL SQUAWK-O-SCOPE IS HERE!
AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)Remember that old song: "I am woman, hear me roar?" That was roar, not snore. Winter's over. Get the lead out. LET IT ROAR!
PISCES (February 20-March 20)
The taxman cometh. And the taxman taketh away. Eateth more chocolate whilst thou can still afford it.
ARIES (March 21-April 20)
Life is short, experience as much as possible. Squawker Transation: Stop TiVoing the re-runs.
TAURUS (April 21-May 21)
Spring has sprung: Think Pink. Unleash your inner panther!
GEMINI (May 22-June 21)
Due to lack of interest, your horoscope has been cancelled this month.
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
A newly-released Danish study has concluded what you’re always suspected. It IS all about you.
LEO (July 23-August 23)
Your resistance is low today. Avoid watching info-commercials featuring blue eye-shadow.
VIRGO (August 24-September 22)
"There's nothing more permanent than change. " Except when you're talking about mullets.
LIBRA (September 23-October 22)
Celebrate your inner Martha by investigating new ways to decorate mixed drinks!
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)
You remember that boyfriend you had who was an expert on padded cells? And then there was the one who your father labeled all foam, no beer? There's a pattern here. That's all we have to say about it…
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
Your creative energies are heading toward a peak. Find a "Paint a Plate" store quick!
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)
The Odds are against you this month, "Odds" being less a gambling term than a description of yourcoworkers.
Eloisa James, 6:13 PM
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