Squawk Radio

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


It all started during a Girl's Night Out at the mall while shopping for a double-D cup bra at Frederick's of Hollywood. (Alas, it was not for me!) While we were eyeing the garter belts and teddies, one of my friends said that she wished they had more sexy "costumes" for husbands that didn't involve elephant trunks. My other friend chirped, "Or parrots!" I looked at both of them askance, trying not to imagine any romantic role-playing games that might involve a parrot (unless it also involved Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow.)

Further discussion revealed that there was just such a shop on-line at www.threewishes.com That's right--it turns out you can you fulfill your husband's favorite fantasy by dressing up as a pom-pom-waving cheerleader, Catholic schoolgirl, naughty nurse or French maid complete with feather duster. But he can also fulfill your fantasy with some of these perennnial favorites. (I kid you not!)

THE MAILMAN - Every writer's favorite fantasy comes to life, complete with cap, polished shoes, and a satchel stuffed full of acceptance letters, fan mail from your adoring readers, and long-anticipated checks from your publisher!

I have to confess that I'm pretty disappointed that they didn't have a UPS man costume because those little brown shorts are REALLY hot. But I'm thinking this guy probably still knows how to deliver!

The Policeman - I don't know about you but I'm guessing those handcuffs aren't optional. Wonder if they sell a furry version? (Of the handcuffs, not the policeman.) If your husband was wearing this, there's no way you'd ask him to "cease and desist," would you? Entrap me, baby!

Mario - Okay, I'm not being judgemental here but if your fantasy is to have your husband dress up like Mario and check your...um...pipes, you just might be smoking those mushrooms, not jumping over them.
But I'm sure you can find a matching Princess Peach Toadstool costume and some willing Koopa Troopa Turtles to spice up the action. And we all KNOW just how hard it is to find a reliable plumber!

This costume is simply called Peter. So if you fancy yourself to be Wendy or Tink and you're looking for a Lost Boy to come knocking at your bedroom window after the kids are asleep, this is the costume for you. (Captain Hook is also available if you prefer the Bad Boys. Crocodile optional. Oh, and the female version of the same costume is called "Captain Hooker". Really.)

Okay, so I have to confess that I'd probably rather see a man in a fine Armani suit than with a parrot on his shoulder (or an elephant trunk in his shorts.) How about you guys? If you could pick one costume to spice up your love life, would it be a pirate, a Viking, a Regency gentleman? Or that big gorilla from Donkey Kong?
Teresa Medeiros, 2:06 PM